Some days you get a mile run/walk in, some days you sit in a hot bath and cry because you hurt everywhere, can't think clearly, and everytime you try to move, the dizziness and fatigue make you worry you'll throw up.
Although I've suffered with fibromyalgia my entire life, it's been awhile since I've been hit with a fibromyalgia flare up. I mean, of course I always hurt, and there are times I can tell my brain is just not working up to par, but beat-down, drag-out, full-symptom disabled mode has, God be thanked, been rare lately.
But, today's my day, apparently, to remember just how bad it can be.
I'm reminded as well, just how hard it was to raise my little kids when high stress and no sleep was a recipe for fairly common flare ups. And, anyone who lives with chronic pain knows that that does not leave you at your best.
Today though, I want to mark this flare up misery with a little gratitude for the huge respite I've experienced in the last 6 months or so, as well as share some of the things that I believe have helped reduce my symptoms and the frequency of my crashes throughout my life.
1. Lower stress. Let me start by saying that, although we can control our boundaries and how much of others' stress we take on (which is so important - watch Brene Brown's youtube videos if you struggle with this!), we can not always control our circumstances.
For instance, my husband and I were taking college classes constantly, raising 4 kids, and working multiple jobs up until 6 months ago. Recently, I've settled on my future goals with my music studio and education. Finally, after 9 years into their diagnosis, we've come to terms with our 4 children's CF diagnosis and have a pattern of care we can manage and some kind of a reasonable expectation of their health for the future. Just this month, we have prospects of moving beyond 130% below poverty level for the first time in our married lives. All of my children sleep through the night now, and have for the last 5 years or so. ;) And, maybe most importantly, in the last year, I've finally been in a place to receive counseling for myself to gain coping mechanisms to deal with childhood abuse. We are experiencing less stress in our home! Lol. In fact, I'll be honest, in 36 years of life and 17 years of marriage, I've never experienced this low of a level of mental, emotional, financial, and physical stress before. Lowered stress has definitely been a game changer. However, if you are reading this and thinking, I'm not there yet. I can't reduce my stress! Then in that case, do what you can, simplify any way you can, but the second one on my list applies to you and is even more important.
2. Hope. Connect with diety. Have a daily devotional where you: journal, pray, meditate, read scripture, express gratitude, make goals, and create. Have things around you that remind you to look up, smile, and focus on something positive instead of your pain for just a moment of relief throughout your day. Along with this, it's important that you allow yourself to believe that you are doing better than you think you are. Give yourself permission to receive grace and acceptance from God for where you are in your life. Despite what you think when you're surrounded by the pain, you are not always like this. Keep hope alive that things will get better again.
3. Rest. Get some. Sleep is one of the greatest tools to stop the vicious fibromyalgia cycle. I know everytime you lay down and try to close your eyes, every muscle and joint takes the opportunity to unkindly remind you that it's unhappy. I know sometimes the throbbing, aching, underlying pain isn't as much of a problem as the startling random pains that run like electricity through delicate and numb fingers, or hit like a baseball bat to your left knee, leaving you breathless. A couple of tips that I've found help calm the pain enough to get that precious rest are: hot epsom salt bath, GENTLE massage or light touches from someone who will listen and respond to what is and what is not helpful (even if it doesn't make logical sense), dark room free from distractions (I know, I know, I've been too distracted by the pain to be able to handle a dark quiet room, but remember, pain makes you more sensitive to light and sound, your best chance is dark and quiet), Intentional meditation (Breathe in for 5, out for 4. Notice your breathing, slow it down. Notice your heartbeat, slow it down with your breathing. Clear your mind. Acknowledge each concern and dismiss it, like dropping leaves into a stream. Register white and other noise. Keep breathing. Let your lungs expand to their full capacity. Imagine yourself weightless and moving in a frictionless space. Or, if more helpful, imagine yourself grounded and the sun beating on each part of your body, moving from your toes to your face. Relax each area as the sun moves along to include it.), heat on tender areas (electric heat pack, heated rice pillow, or hot running water).
4. Stretch and exercise. This one, I'm going to qualify with a very firm 'with caution'. When one has fibromyalgia, pain is constant, and so, the added discomfort and soreness that one would normally get from gentle exercise is magnified. In my experience, it's also vital to remember that your body may not rebound and heal as quickly as someone else's. As an avid exerciser throughout my life, I can now tell when a normal exercise routine or stretch is going to put me out for a couple days and I do not cross that line. When you feel you can, do a little. It's better than nothing and leaves you able to do something else another day. Limited energy is a hallmark of fibromyalgia - I think because our bodies are tired from processing constant input. So guage carefully. If you feel you can do something, low-impact activities are best. Among these, I've found the following have worked best for me: walking (preferably somewhere where you can feel the sun and connect with nature. This is also where I get my devotional in sometimes by listening to scriptures from my phone or having a conversation with God as I walk.), or elliptical indoors, Vinyasa flow yoga with any needed modifications (constant movement rather than holding stagnant poses puts less stress on the joints), and Tai Chi. Morning and evening sun salutations help me with stiff, sore muscles and pain both, before I go to bed, as well as first thing in the morning. Limited repetitions of muscle group specific strength exercises using only body weight have also been doable and helpful to me to increase overall strength and try to address bone density issues from not being able to do high impact workouts. Walking 30 minutes 3 times a week and doing 30 reps a day of something used to be my goal and I found if I could meet that goal, I felt much better. A caution though, you have to decide what your limits are. Something is much better than nothing.
5. When you feel you can, gently connect with the outside world. It is very easy to feel physically and socially isolated when you are, of necessity, home-bound and in pain. Find an online support group. Have an at-home hobby with out of home ties. Reach out to family and friends if you need help. Make someone's day by sending them a 'thinking of you' text or snail mail card. Make a list and get supplies when you are feeling well so you don't have to try to be creative when you are having trouble thinking. Depression is common for people with fibromyalgia, and one of the greatest ways to fight that depression is to know you can do something to lift another human being, and that there are still things in your capacity to do that make you important and needed.
6. Fuel your body. Eat a whole foods, plant-based diet and drink plenty of water. This is one I have just started experimenting with and I have had fantastic results. Dr. Fuhrman, The China Study, and the facebook group 'Discovering the Word of Wisdom' are great places to start learning how to fuel your body with nutritious food as well as protect it from the side effects of our S.A.D. (standard American diet), which consists mostly of processed, nutritionally barren grain, sugar, fat, and salt. About 4 weeks after I started only eating whole grains, fruits, and vegetables, I was noticing less pain and inflammation, more energy, and a happier overall outlook. I have also noticed that I have gotten sick less. Everytime I vary from this way of eating, I can feel things getting worse again. And, again, when I return to eating closer to a plant based diet with no meat (the first day I tried a plant-based diet, I was shocked because for the first time since beginning tracking my food a year earlier, I was actually close to my protein and iron goals - go oats, rice, and beans!) and no added sugars or oils, I feel amazing again. (This is still a work in progress for me and has been a slow steady transition, so I'm definitely not 100%, but even then, I am noticing the good effects!)
So, that's my two cents.
Originally, I came across the idea for this by reading the article at the website in the picture (where I got the picture from-I was drawn in by the alluring promise!). I felt I wanted to add my experience to the conversation. Thanks for reading. I hope it helps someone fighting with chronic pain, or sheds some light on the condition for those trying to help, but who have no experience with it of their own. I assume it is like many things, where it is hard to understand unless you've experienced it. On that note, if you're suffering and feel very much alone, don't discount the promise that there is one who has had personal experience with every one of your trials. You aren't walking your path alone. Christ already walked it, got to the end, and came back to walk next to you.
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