Today

That's going to take some getting used to! 2012. What new adventures await?

I am a little tired and was having a hard time seeing my blessings today. I knew they were there, but I couldn't pin point them. The feeling I got was to keep having faith, even if I couldn't see them. The other feeling was an assurance that I was being sustained and very tangible protections were taking place that I could be grateful for.

To be truthful, I really shouldn't be as calm and happy as I am right now. I am at peace even though we have been up late the last two nights. I am hurting and have a lot on my plate, but I am not overwhelmed. I feel now that the time is right to stretch myself a little. To do a little bit of many worthwhiles. To seek approval of God and bypass my own desire for perfection. I may not do everything that I'm about to attempt perfectly, but I'm going to do my best and I'm going to do it with the Savior by my side.

I'm going to grow, I'm going to expand my mind and my horizons. I am hoping that this might be a step in losing the tunnel vision that I feel I have had for so long.

I am going to try to love fully, instead of at arms length. I don't feel I could be learning this lesson without the other lessons I have learned in the last year-lessons on being imperfect and still worthwhile, lessons on not trying to fix everyone's problems-or not getting upset at myself when I can not solve everyone's problems. Lessons on putting Ryan and my family first and leaving the rest to God.

Rebecca fell asleep in my arms tonight. It was wonderful.

Kristen is in charge of fhe tomorrow-I told her that my only concern was that it be fun. We are going to try to play more as a family.

Trying to stay close to the spirit. Accepting my best instead of expecting perfection. Feeling very blessed and very grateful.