I am going to post this-although it is actually from August of 2012-a little more than half way through my "journey" of last year. It is a mark of progress that I no longer spend the bulk of my time and energy looking for ways to feel guilty.
"Just got home from choir where I got to sing with a wonderful choir and conductor-two awesome sisters especially made it fun.
Another sister gave me a bag of clothes for Joseph to grow into. I felt God's love and awareness that he inspired her to bless us in this way.
My first instinct tonight in prayer was to apologize to God for my ingratitude today or for any complaining, or even for experiencing moments that weren't completely joyful-but was answered with a feeling that I didn't need to analyze and apologize. That he did it just because he loved me. No guilt needed.
I didn't quite know how to take it.
But I am pondering on it and it's implications for me as a mother...mostly though, I feel I am to just accept it and relax. I'm doing ok and God understands."