I haven't 'blogged' in awhile but felt a need to share an experience tonight.
Today I was having a really hard time - you know, one of those 'I am failing' mommy moments. There was no particular cause I could see for it even. I just felt heavy, unable to think even. I felt paralyzed.
I was close to tears when I remembered - or was prompted, rather - to ask my kind Heavenly Father what He wanted me to learn from feeling this way.
I felt a little lighter as the silent prayer put the situation into perspective and I felt that maybe this was an exercise in faith and empathy.
In faith, because just the other day I had felt approval from God, not because I am perfect, but because I am trying. I had to exercise faith that that was how God felt about me, not the negative feelings that I was having at that moment. It was interesting to have both feelings so close together and feel the difference in where they must be coming from.
In empathy, because it reminded me that those feelings had been almost a constant companion for me during the sleepless-nights, tantrum days of raising small children. It reminded me that many of the women around me were still in those days and could use encouragement and prayers. It reminded me that the fruits of motherhood are truly 'slow-ripening', as one of my favorite Mormon authors has said.
Anyway, remember, you are doing better than you think. You are loved more than you know. Keep having faith that the small, seemingly inconsequential actions you persist in doing today are leading to beautiful fruit in the future.